Welcome to my first caregiver’s blog! It is my sincere hope that you will find what you are looking for as you read this; whether it be hope, camaraderie or a sense of relief that comes from knowing that someone else shares your experience(s), situation and feelings. By now you know our story, having read it on this website and while I’m sure it doesn’t mirror yours exactly, I am equally as sure we have, and share, common emotions.

I am a journaler. I try to write in said journal every day, needless to say that doesn’t happen, so I settle for writing as often as I can which, of course, is never as often as I’d like. I thought as we begin our time together I’d share bits and pieces of my musings.

2/15/10 On Sunday February 7 at 4:00 p.m. Jude goes into full cardiac arrest on the living room couch…I’ve waited a week to write about it, but I still can’t quite describe it – the worst nightmare of my life. What sheer terror coursed through me – adrenaline and terror. I never want to experience that combination again as long as I live.

2/7/11   Hard to believe it was one (1) year ago today that Jude experienced cardiac arrest. I just have trouble (still) with those words – sometimes I still can’t wrap my mind around it. It’s one of those things you never think will happen to you or your loved one. It’s still hard to think about – it seems so unreal. Yet I do think about it – all the time. The flashbacks continue, I still listen to hear her breathing and I’m terrified of losing her.

These are just some of my ramblings to begin our journey together.

Thanks for listening,

Pat